An authentic leader is real

By Tricia Lovejoy

Life as a pastor’s wife means we’re on display for all to see – which is a good thing. The Apostle Paul, himself, invited people to watch his life and follow his actions. Yet, sometimes that notion can be overwhelming or can catch us off-guard. Like when our youngest child is acting as if the devil is his best friend or when we are in a full-blown argument with our husband as we walk into the church lobby. When we know we’re on display, many of us are tempted to live our lives to meet the expectations of others. Maybe we plaster a smile on our face or say yes to every request or present ourselves as the perfect family. Whatever it is, we are tempted to live up to the hype of the “perfect pastor’s wife” by looking good, sounding good, and feeling good. ALL. THE. TIME. Yet, just as Paul invited people to watch his life and follow his actions, he also reminded them that his goal wasn’t to meet their expectations. He didn’t always meet their expectations, as a matter of fact. Scripture depicts more than one occasion in which Paul was at odds with people. He, however, was adamant that his goal was to please God rather than measuring his success by what everyone else thought. While we are tempted to live up to the hype of perfection, we don’t have to live that way.  It’s just a temptation….one that we can overcome. Just because we live in a fishbowl doesn’t mean we are without flaws. We simply have a responsibility to lead and shepherd others. While being aware that eyes are upon us, let’s be transparent. Real. Let’s not hide our mistakes. Let’s allow people inside our world to see what happens after the mistake….the confession….the healing. Let’s not model low standards or poor character, but let’s not model fake perfection either. Let’s simply allow people to see God at work in our lives. living in the fishbowl That’s attractive. That’s good leadership. That’s the Christian life. Remember you don’t have to be perfect. Just be on the journey with Jesus as you lead out in ministry. In Him, alone, will we find freedom. Galatians 1:10 “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”


Published February 3, 2016

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Tricia Lovejoy

Tricia lives in Birmingham, Ala., and is married to Shawn Lovejoy, an author and the founder of CourageToLead, a coaching resource for pastors. She blogs at SharpenHer.com with insights into our Christian life, a little fun, and a lot of real-life transparency. Together, she and her husband lead out in ministry and life. They have three children.