We needed to make a decision. I felt I was right, but he would not listen to me. I just wanted to help, but my helping was hurting.
I met a widowed pastor’s wife for lunch one day following this event to glean some wisdom. I asked her to share how she got her husband to see her point of view.
She shared a story about a similar experience she had with her own husband early in their marriage. She said that she disagreed with her husband about transportation for a trip. She told her husband she was not going because he would not listen.
She then went to visit her mother and told her what had happened. Her mother told her, “You don’t tell that man what you aren’t going to do. You pray for him to make the right decision.”
She went home and she prayed that her husband would realize that the vehicle he wanted to travel in was not reliable.
The next morning she awoke for the trip and the vehicle her husband wanted to take would not start. They ended up going the way she felt was safer.
She taught me to pray for my husband instead of trying to convince him I am right.
A husband wants to know his wife believes in him. When she questions his decision over and over again, it sends the message that she does not. Besides when we do that, we become contentious Proverbs 19:13.
Prayer does not mean I always get my way. Sometimes God shows me where I am misguided in my understanding of the situation and other times my husband forges ahead opposite of what I think. God reminds me I am to follow his leadership as the head of the family.
Through prayer I have learned to submit to my husband’s leadership. God protects me when I walk under the leadership of my husband. When I step from under his leadership, I place myself in the way of judgment.
Through prayer I have seen God given my husband clarity while he is making decisions for our family and the church. Through prayer I am able to partner with him in ministry. I pray for his personal time with the Lord. In this busy world with family, ministry and sometimes vocational demands pastor’s time with the Lord become short changed.
I pray for his leadership of our family and the church. I pray for his sermon preparation and for God to give Him an inspired word. And the best part is I see God answer my prayers. It assures me that praying for Him instead of being right is the best decision. James 5:16.
Published January 1, 2012
