Rescuing Date Night from the Fishbowl

By Lori Frank

It was 6:30 on a Thursday night. My Hubby’s sermon for Sunday was hurdling through cyber space to the ministry assistant’s computer and he was out the door headed for home. The kids were in their jammies.  The sitter was playing dinosaurs with the little guys in the playroom just as the pizza boy rang with dinner for one and all.

I did one more quick check of my lipstick and adjusted my spanx. I was officially off mommy duty for the next three hours! Tonight, we were headed to dinner and to a movie. Date night baby!  And boy did I need it. What a week it had been.  We were in the middle of a church relocation, I was freshly back from handling the 8th grade girls at student camp and it had been weeks since we had more than a few minutes to talk…or anything else if you know what I mean.

But how many of us have set off for that much needed date night with such high hopes and great expectations only to have them crashed by an urgent need on the cellphone?  Have you ever eaten a cold meal because church members kept stopping by your table and chatting so you couldn’t eat or have that talk you’d been saving?  Have you ever missed out on some “after the movie frozen yogurt” because the lady you bumped into in the theater lobby chose that moment to pour her heart out?  Or, how about missing the movie too because you needed to fit in an emergency hospital visit before the babysitter needed to go home?

We’ve all been there.  Sometimes, in the ministry fishbowl you just have to slosh with it.  But here are a few tips that have worked for us:

  1. Try a Friday morning breakfast date and a matinee- Fewer chances for the “bump-ins” and half the price too!
  2. Arrange a sleepover for the kids- Then order your dinner to go and sit by the fire at home and watch a movie, no spanx required.
  3. Drive-thru- Grab your favorite greasy burger, eat in the car and go for a drive in the country. This is my personal favorite, especially on a pretty evening with the top off our Jeep.  (No need to dress up or worry about your hair, Bonus!)

A little creativity is all you need.  Steal those precious moments.

Remember, what matters is that you protect that time, schedule it in.

Don’t talk about church stuff, turn off your phones, make each other laugh, and fall back in love. Remember, to the fishy, the fishbowl is home. So grab that man of yours and just keep swimming!

How do you and that man of yours rescue date night??

My lover said to me, “Rise up my darling, come away with me my fair one!  — Song of Solomon 2:10


Published February 12, 2014

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Lori Frank

Lori Frank serves the people of Biltmore Baptist Church in Asheville, North Carolina where her husband of 25 years, Dr. Bruce Frank is Lead Pastor. Lori teaches a weekly women’s Bible Study and offers local group mentoring for pastors’ wives and women in ministry. Lori and Bruce have two sons in college.